15 January 2014

Dhoom 3

Aamir Khan in a movie? It must be good!
EVEN if it is a part of the terrible Dhoom Franchise.


The story follows the story of circus owner, Jackie Shroff with his son complaining about the fact that the bank he took a loan out from, is going to shut down his circus because he didn't pay it back. And rather than deal with that, he decided to shoot himself in front of his pre-pubescent son. #ParentingGoals
We fast forward several years, and suddenly a lot of high and fancy thefts take place in the branches of the same bank. Befuddled, the Chicago PD decides to call in the big guns, ie. the local police officer, Can't Act Bachchan and his side-kick Muscles only Chopra, all the way from Mumbai, India, since they obviously know more about Chicago.
So anyway they get there, meet a guy, Tiny Man Khan who has all the knowledge of the criminal and they decide to let him, a pure civilian into all their plans.
Meanwhile, we find out that Tiny Man Khan is the master mind behind all of this himself! And better yet, he has a highly functioning autistic twin brother.
He also tries to restart the circus his father abandoned, and needs an Indian Goddess to be the star. And since I wasn't available they decided to go with Katrina The Expressionless Kaif. Whose only role in the movie is 6 lines and two songs.
Of course, Can't Act Bachchan finds out about the twins and the plan and decides to stop them, but seeing as it was an Indian movie, they manage to get away.
But not before, the twin falls in love with and kisses Expressionless and tries to stand up to his brother. Tiny Man Khan however, shuts down the revolution by his brother.
In the end they get caught, Tiny Man Khan asks for his brother's freedom in exchange for his arrest. And of course, he then jumps off the bridge, only to be stopped by the twin, who then jumps along with him.
The story is paper thin, with terrible-terrible acting. From everybody, including Tiny Man Khan. Which was disappointing. The quintessential Dhoom banter between Can't Act Bachchan and Muscle only Chopra was gone and fake fancy bikes which meant that it wasn't the same.
The lack of funny scenes was a great advantage, because then Chopra has even less lines than usual.
Do not watch it!

The Good: It's the last Dhoom movie!
The Bad: Aamir Khan chose to do this movie,
The Forgotten: Where was Rimi Sen?!  

13 comments:

  1. Very well written. Funnily sarcastic. Wish the movie was even close to this interesting!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Enjoyed going through your review. It surely is more entertaining than the movie. Keep writing girl! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. completely agree with you zarah. it was like a animated kid cartoon dhoom flick. during the horrendously loud action scenes esp the flying three wheeler auto - copter i was totally done and walked out within the first 10 minutes of the movie for a trip to the loo. it was more interesting in the loo. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You did the clever thing to walk out!
      Thank you:)

      Delete
  4. What a fantastic dissection. Enjoyed the writing style.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Replies
    1. Thanks!
      Keep reading, there's more on the way :)

      Delete
  6. Last Dhoom Movie????
    Don't bet on it. If you can get a billion people to dish out a 500/- ka patta to watch a Trashy 3 hour Bike Racing Game
    with Mr Dumb and Mr Dumber & Mr Smart and Ms Hotter, then why wouldn't they repeat the formula again??
    Don't be surprised if you see DHOOM- 313 in 2050 with Abhishek's daughter and Uday's Son.
    Of course resurrected-photoshopped Aamir would still be around with a six-teen pack.
    Great Blog and good writing. Keep watching all the bad movies and warn us in advance :))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fingers crossed that it is the last one.
      Thank you!

      Delete
  7. Stumbled upon a link to here on another reviewer's page famous for its unique cartoony style of review. I couldn't help following the link, as a tendency, and boy, what a surprise. I haven't seen (read: read, funny isn't it) any other review (story?) here and I am glad its so. I wont call this piece of writing a review as the writer has spilled out the entire story, instead of critiquing on various components of the movie itself. Probably a spoiler would help an unsuspecting reader on what to expect, incase they get here before they get to the theater. Overall a good read!

    ReplyDelete