25 August 2015

The Deal with: America's Next Top Model

I have never made it a secret that I watch ANTM. Actually, watch is a tame word for what I do, I actually voraciously devour it. I have seen each and every season several times over and would probably do it again in a heartbeat. And would you look at that, a new cycle has just started!


Though, I don't watch it in a "Look at this well-founded modelling competition" way. I watch more like, "Look at these ridiculous people participating in what they think is a well-founded modelling competition".
It is also no secret that my life has steadily been spiraling downward, and watching the buffoons attempt to be not "too pretty for modelling" really makes my life seem far better in comparison.
And isn't that the purpose of reality television?
Though a part of is not fully convinced that the show is truly 'reality'. For one, no one comes up with lines like this impromptu:

For 19 consecutive cycles we watch Tyra Banks teach simple minded young girls who never really grew into their clothes how to be a successful model.
You know what they say, those who can't do, teach? Yeah, well, they should have Tyra's face next to that saying.
Don't get me wrong, I think that the woman is beautiful and clearly she must have done something right if she is busy rolling around in THAT much money. But the sort of advice the woman gives grates my nerves like crazy.
Thanks Ty-ty!

Cycle 20 onwards Tyra has introduced men into her foray and we must now sit and watch pretty but dumb boys walk around next to girls and somehow portray a delicate balance of effeminate and masculine all at once. You know, the one where you look like 'the boys should want to be you and so should the girls.'

But this last episode Tyra insured that my head would explode. She has always made things extra hard for the contestants, like asking them to walk on stilts, all while wearing those extremely fashionable paint splattered tarp.

Or maybe when she asked them to pose on stilts, all while wearing, that. Yes, that. 

What's up with the whole stilt's business, Tyra?
She has also tried time and again to put men in situation where they would seem completely at home, like asked them to model Nail Art,


Or give them long hair and asked them 'Whip it',
Please excuse me while I spend the rest of my life laughing at this.


And then she has the gall to say this time, that the only reason she has introduced men into her 'Legitimate modelling competition' is to change the hard standards that the industry has on men. 

So, let me just pause here to ask guys, are you having a hard time not being objectified by the media? Is it exceptionally difficult for you to be judged on your character and your personality rather than the size of your breasts? Or you know, when you get paid that slight bit more than women for the exact same job? 
It does truly sound like a painful experience. 
Of course, men don't have it exactly easy. Especially since there are photographs like these in magazines. 

I mean, huba-huba. Am I right?
Stop distracting me with your beauty, Ben!


But in a world where for the past 70 odd years women have been placed under the spotlight and asked to do two things, look pretty and give babies, you do not turn the spotlight on men and claim it to stem from you wanting to make things 'easier' for the poor things. 

Can Tyra just go back to the place where all she did was talk about her big forehead and attempt to find someone to replace her?

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