13 February 2016

Deadpool

















Let's call a spade, a spade. I am someone who lives and breathes sarcasm, much to my mother's disappointment. So when I see someone else being sarcastic and getting paid for it, I regain my hope.



Deadpool is one of the most awaited films of the year. And I woke up at the crack of dawns ass to go watch it. And lord, it was well worth it.
Ryan Reynolds, who looks SO old is a mercenary with a twisted sense of humour.
He goes about doing his business of being a hipster hitman, until the day he meets Hooker Vanessa. Who shares the twisted sense of humour and a voracious sexual appetite. With a montage of their, ahem, prophylactic activities, years pass and the two fall in love and move in together. Pause the montage and Reynolds proposes to Hooker Vanessa. And they are just oh, so happy. And being the sad, alone person that I am, I wanted to hate them. But boom! Reynolds has late-stage cancer and he takes it with a bag full of salt. Hooker on the other hand, is all ready to fight the shit out of it. Reynolds meets super mysterious guy who offers to cure him and give him abilities that all men want. After much consideration, 3 seconds, he agrees. AND LEAVES HOOKER VANESSA IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Like, I get goodbyes are hard. BUT YOU DO NOT LEAVE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ASLEEP AND WALK AWAY. Even if it is for her benefit.


Enter super creepy basement type lab with like a hot and masculine Nicholas Hoult, called Ajax/Francis. Also, he has a weird thing about his name, to the point where he keeps yelling "What's my name?" as a taunt. Now, I am not creative but buddy, is that the best you can come up with?
Reynolds is injected with magic serum that activates his latent mutantness. But he needs a dose of adrenaline to get there. Cue montage of various torture experiments being conducted on the poor thing.


He eventually escapes and vows revenge. But he is all disfigured (honestly though, he just looks like a burn victim and thats kinda mean) and looks like a human version of Fantastic Four's The Thing. He stalks Hooker Vanessa from afar, while honing his super skill of indestructibility and mad reflexes. Oh, and kills like a whole bunch of people to get to Francis.



Who then kidnaps Hooker Vanessa, now Stipper/Bartender Vanessa and uses her a bait for Reynolds.
Cue big fight scene, where the good guy wins and gets the girl.



Why does all this sound, familiar you say? Because this is literally the most overused story in the world! I swear, even Bollywood is tired of this plot.
The silver lining is how they show this story. With really clever and well-timed flashbacks for one. And a hilarious voice over that often breaks the fourth wall. Actually he does that physically as well. And it is so brilliant. I would say that the acting is good, but in all honesty Reynolds spends about 80% of the movie in the suit. So they could have had a dog in there, and Reynolds voice over that and no one would be wiser.
What wins in this movie is the incredible writing, the fantastic screenplay which is amplified with the unbelievable special effects. And let's be honest, the superb direction. Am I overselling it? Nope. It really is that good. It honestly shakes up the tired way that Marvel has been churning out superhero movies.



Is the story good? No. But lord, even the credit roll is funny. Both the beginning and end ones. For ex: With great thanks to (with tongue) was a category. The writers have done a great job of making fun of EVERYthing including Reynolds himself. Stop reading this and watch the damn movie already.

The Good: This is one of the most quotable movie so far. "Don't leave me with slightly less angry Rosie O'Donnell."
The Bad: I fear this may have peaked the careers of both Reynolds and Tim Miller.
The Great: Betty White's review of the film.

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